The struggles of ADHD women often remain hidden in plain sight. Many women go through life feeling overwhelmed and confused, not knowing the root cause of their challenges. This late diagnosis can lead to various difficulties that affect many areas of their lives. In fact, many women don’t receive a diagnosis until after the birth of their first child OR until their children are diagnosed.
Women with undiagnosed ADHD frequently battle feelings of self-doubt. They may question their abilities, leading to a cycle of shame which can often lead to high levels of anxiety- including perfectionism and workaholism as well as depression. There is often a social pressure to ‘hold it all together’ which can be especially draining for someone with undiagnosed ADHD.
The Unique Presentation of ADHD in Women: A Masked Diagnosis
The Chameleon Effect
ADHD does not look the same for everyone. For women, it might appear as forgetfulness, disorganization, or anxiety, rather than hyperactivity. And, for many women it can present as perfectionism or workaholism! Many women become adept at masking their symptoms, which makes it harder for doctors to notice. They may excel in social situations while struggling internally, leading to a false impression that they are managing well.
Societal Expectations and Gender Bias in ADHD Diagnosis
Society has specific expectations for women’s behavior, often leading to bias in diagnosing ADHD. Women are frequently expected to be nurturing and organized, which can make their struggles less visible. As a result, many healthcare professionals may overlook symptoms or attribute them to stress or personal issues, rather than considering ADHD. This is why it is so common for women to not be diagnosed until mid-adulthood.
The Emotional and Psychological Toll of Late Diagnosis
The Impact on Relationships: Strain and Misunderstandings
Living with untreated ADHD can create marital problems or tension with friends and family. Misunderstandings arise when loved ones don’t grasp the daily challenges faced by women with ADHD. Communication breaks down, leading to frustration on both sides.
The Impact on Career and Professional Life
In the professional realm, the challenges continue. Many women struggle with time management, organization, and focus. Tasks that seem simple to others can feel monumental, resulting in stress and frustration. ADHD women often have great potential. However, without proper management strategies, their productivity suffers. They may produce excellent work but struggle to meet deadlines or maintain a consistent performance level, which can hinder career advancement.
Navigating Relationships and Family Life with a Late ADHD Diagnosis
The impact of ADHD can be significant. From the strain on relationships as communication and misunderstandings increase, to the parenting challenges and the unrealistic expectations of managing household tasks plus children’s needs, the everyday struggle of organization and keeping track of activities can frequently be too much for the ADHD person.
ADHD is a challenge for many adults, however for those women who suspect that ‘something is wrong’ late in the game, it can create a spiral of shame, guilt and anger as they recognize all the years that they struggled due to lack of diagnosis.
One goal of coaching is to recognize that from here we move forward! Coaching focuses on devising effective strategies that assist ADHD women redefine their individual goals and expectations in order to determine their own path moving forward.